Maureen Dowd, "The Tortured Mechanics of Eroticism": Why Maureen's Knickers Are Not in a Knot

"This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me."

- Rodney Dangerfield

When Maureen Dowd travels overseas, you never know what to expect. But if you're hoping to find here a picture of Maureen in her undies, look elsewhere! For goodness sake, the Queen of Snark is already 61 years old! Let's respect her for her mind! Hey, I'm trying to be serious! Really! Don't you believe me?

And now back to business. First, a little history . . .

In a March 2010 Times op-ed entitled "Loosey Goosey Saudi" (see: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/03/opinion/03dowd.html), Dowd declared from the Desert Kingdom that Saudi women were seeing better days:

"But after spending 10 days here, I can confirm that, at their own galactically glacial pace, they are chipping away at gender apartheid and cultural repression."

At the time, Dowd ignored an abomination involving the Saudi legal system pursuant to which a Saudi woman, who had been gang raped, was sentenced to a one-year prison term and 100 lashes for committing adultery and trying to abort the resultant fetus (see: http://jgcaesarea.blogspot.co.il/2010/03/shame-on-maureen-dowd.html). Unusual in the Desert Kingdom? Not at all.

Similarly, Dowd remained silent concerning the issue of "honor killings" in her host country. Had she dared write on this issue, her Saudi friends would have put an abrupt end to her pleasure tour.

More recently, I wonder what what Maureen would say about the Saudi princess just charged with human trafficking in California. As reported yesterday by The Guardian (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jul/12/saudi-princess-human-trafficking-california):

"A Saudi princess charged in California with human trafficking has been freed after posting $5m (£3.3m) bail, but authorities imposed strict travel requirements and a GPS tag. Meshael Alayban, 42, who prosecutors said is one of the six wives of Prince Abdulrahman bin Nasser bin Abdulaziz al-Saud, was released a day after her arrest.

. . . .

Alayban was arrested after a Kenyan woman who worked for her as a maid alleged she was held against her will and forced to work long hours for meagre pay. The maid led police to a building in Irvine where Alayban's family was staying, authorities said.

The district attorney Tony Rackauckas said after court on Thursday that the woman had been subjected to 'forced labour,' and likened Alayban to a slave owner.

'It's been 150 years since the emancipation proclamation, and slavery has been unlawful in the United States, and certainly in California, all this time, and it's disappointing to see it in use here,' said Rackauckas, who had requested that Alayban's bail be set at $20m."

Yup, Maureen, those Saudis are sure as heck making a lot of progress moving their country into the twenty-first century.

And so, perhaps we should consider ourselves lucky that this year Dowd is visiting Paris, where today she has chosen to illuminate us concerning the evolution of female underwear. In her latest New York Times op-ed entitled "The Tortured Mechanics of Eroticism" (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/14/opinion/sunday/dowd-the-tortured-mechanics-of-eroticism.html?_r=0), Dowd writes:

"THE French may feel shaky about the underpinnings of the economy. But about the underpinnings for the body, they are as rock solid as the Arc de Triomphe.

During a summer when the French are drooping, the best uplift can be found in the Louvre complex at the Museum of Decorative Arts, which has mounted a dazzling exhibition on undergarments and embellishments dating from the 14th century on: corsets and bustles, hoops and push-up bras, crinolines and codpieces. The exhibit, titled 'Behind the Seams, the Mechanics of Underwear: An Indiscreet History of the Silhouette,' provides a fascinating contrast between the industrial-seeming tools used to shape the body and the sexiness that results."

How arousing! I wonder if Andrew Rosenthal needed to wipe the steam from his eyeglasses.

So how does Saudi Arabia tie into Dowd's latest opinion piece? It doesn't, but Maureen nevertheless explains:

"It was only two years ago that Saudi Arabia, hypocritical home to many racy lingerie stores, compelled them all to employ women instead of men."

Fascinating. My understanding of lingerie is now complete.

Me? I'm sure you will all be delighted to know that I am also in my underpants as I pen this blog entry, sipping vodka and wilting in the heat. A trip to Paris to visit this "dazzling exhibition"? Not in the cards.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.