Ross Douthat's "The Online Looking Glass": The Plague of Narcissism

Although I generally don't see eye to eye with Ross Douthat, or for that matter with any of the op-ed writers of The New York Times, Douthat has written what I believe to be a fascinating interpretation of the conduct of Anthony Weiner in his column entitled "The Online Looking Glass" (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/13/opinion/13douthat.html?hp):

"In the sad case of Representative Anthony Weiner’s virtual adultery, the Internet era’s defining vice has been thrown into sharp relief. It isn’t lust or smut or infidelity, though online life encourages all three. It’s a desperate, adolescent narcissism.

. . . .

His 'partners' existed less to titillate him than to hold up mirrors to his own vanity: whether the congressman was tweeting photos of his upper body or bragging about what lurked below, his focus was always squarely on himself.”

Bravo, Mr. Douthat. As I stated in a prior blog entry (http://jgcaesarea.blogspot.com/2011/06/maureen-dowd-your-tweetin-heart-who.html):

"Will Weiner voluntarily resign? No way. Weiner is consumed with self-interest and is yet another poster boy for narcissism, the plague of the 21st century."

But what about the causes of narcissism and the damage that it does to those living with persons afflicted with the disease? I strongly recommend reading Dr. Richard Grossman's essay "Voicelessness: Narcissism" (http://www.voicelessness.com/narcissism.html), which states in part:

"Many people spend a lifetime aggressively trying to protect an injured or vulnerable 'self.' Traditionally, psychologists have termed such people 'narcissists,' but this is a misnomer. To the outside world it appears that these people love themselves. Yet, at their core they don't love themselves--in fact their self barely exists, and what part does exist is deemed worthless. All energy is devoted to inflating the self, like a persistent child trying to blow up a balloon with a hole.

Because they need continuous proof of the significance of their voice, narcissists must find people, particularly important people, to hear and value them. If they are not heard, their childhood wound opens, and they quickly begin to melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West. This terrifies them. Narcissists use everyone around them to keep themselves inflated. Often they find flaws in others and criticize them fiercely, for this further distinguishes them from those who are defective."

In my opinion, Weiner's refusal to resign as a congressman is just one more manifestation of his ailment, which causes him to place "self" at the epicenter at the expense of all around him.