Gail Collins's "Mitt! Mitt! Mitt!": Once Was More Than Enough

With Frank Rich gone and his replacement, Joe Nocera, writing business essays that leave me impassive (if I have trouble sleeping, I take melatonin and read a Nocera op-ed 20 minutes before bedtime), New York Times columnist Gail Collins is now left holding the bag (with occasional help from Maureen Dowd) for those pleasured by reading about the follies of dubious Republican presidential hopefuls. In her latest Times op-ed, "Mitt! Mitt! Mitt!" (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/16/opinion/16collins.html?hp), Collins does not disappoint her readership:

"My job today is to give you a run-through of every book Mitt Romney has ever written. Fortunately, there are only two: 'Turnaround,' which is about his stint as the leader of the troubled 2002 Salt Lake City Olympic Games, and 'No Apology,' his campaign tome, which used to be subtitled 'The Case for American Greatness' but is now 'Believe in America.'”

Apparently it is also Collins's job today to remind us again how Romney mistreated his dog:

"Also, there is not a single mention in 'No Apology' of the fact that Romney once drove to Canada with the family Irish setter strapped to the roof of the car. I regard this as a critical oversight, although perhaps it was Seamus that Romney was thinking of when he chose his title."

As much as I am impassioned about animal welfare, perhaps it is my job today to remind Ms. Collins that this story is getting stale. In a February 2008 New York Times op-ed entitled "The Revenge of Seamus" (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/09/opinion/09collins.html), Collins already wrote:

"Oh, Mitt, Mitt, Mitt. [Note the similarity of the opening of this column to the title of today's op-ed.]

Losing Mitt Romney from the presidential race is not just a matter of another Republican biting the dust. It’s all those dozens and dozens of future incarnations that we may never have a chance to meet. I was hoping that someday we’d get a Libertarian Mitt, or maybe a cowboy.

Worst of all, I’m going to have to get through the rest of the year without ever again referring to the fact that Romney once drove to Canada with the family dog, Seamus, strapped to the roof of the car."

At the risk of sounding narcissistic, I am not interested in Mitt Romney. I am also not interested in Collins's bickering with Donald Trump.

I have not read either of Romney's books, nor will I ever do so. (I am currently reading an 800-page history of the Thirty Years War.)

I have also not read either of Obama's books about himself, nor will I ever do so. There is too much important literature waiting to be read and so little time.

I envy the pulpit given to Collins, from which she can influence the lives of millions of people. Instead, we are twice-weekly buffeted with politicized tripe. I can only imagine what I would write if given a one-time opportunity to guest author a New York Times op-ed. Would I discuss science, history, medicine, events in the Middle East?

Dream on, Jeffrey. You have trouble getting even your New York Times online comments past their thought police, i.e. their anything but moderate "moderators".