Maureen Dowd, "Phony Mommy Wars": Sorry, Mo, to Her Credit, Ann Romney Is Not Acting the Martyr

In 1999 consultant and commentator Hillary Rosen adopted, together with her partner, LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) activist Elizabeth Birch, twin children (see: http://books.google.co.il/books?id=72QEAAAAMBAJ&pg=PA44&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false). Rosen and Birch separated in 2006. Continuing her busy consulting career, Rosen has visited the White House 35 times (see: http://www.nationalreview.com/campaign-spot/295838/hilary-rosen-frequent-white-house-visitor). This is a tribute to America, where members of the LGBT community can live openly and freely, and pursue high level, high visibility careers.

A week ago, Rosen set off a firestorm by declaring on CNN (see: http://edition.cnn.com/2012/04/12/opinion/ann-romney-hilary-rosen/index.html):

"What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country saying, 'Well, you know my wife tells me that what women really care about are economic issues, and when I listen to my wife that's what I'm hearing.'

Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life. She's never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of the women in this country are facing in terms of how do we feed our kids, how do we send them to school, and why do we worry about their future."

Ann Romney's tweeted response:

"I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys. Believe me, it was hard work."

Rosen subsequently apologized to Ann Romney, stating (http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/04/12/rosen-apologizes-over-comments-against-ann-romney/):

"Let's declare peace in this phony war and go back to focus on the substance."

Echoing Rosen's request for a truce in the title of her latest New York Times op-ed, "Phony Mommy Wars" (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/18/opinion/dowd-phony-mommy-wars.html?_r=1&ref=opinion#), Maureen Dowd declares that Ann Romney "was feigning aggrievement to milk the moment," and supports her claim by highlighting Ann Romney's remarks at a Florida fund-raiser:

"'It was my early birthday present for someone to be critical of me as a mother, and that was really a defining moment, and I loved it,' a gleeful Ann told the backyard full of Florida fat cats, sounding 'like a political tactician,' as Garrett Haake, the NBC reporter on the scene, put it.

It’s important when you act the martyr not to overplay your hand. If you admit out loud to a bunch of people — including Haake, who was on the sidewalk enterprisingly eavesdropping — that you’re just pretending to be offended, you risk looking phony, like your husband."

Sorry, Maureen, but it is possible to take issue with Rosen's remarks without taking offense or acting the martyr. Quite the contrary, to their credit, Mitt and Ann Romney have not made Ann's MS or past bout with breast cancer defining issues during this campaign season.

Dowd would dismiss this "phony" war as "piffle." I disagree. At issue is the freedom of couples to decide upon their lifestyles when children enter into the equation. This freedom also applies to Hilary Rosen. What could possibly be more important?

Dowd acknowledges, "My mom stayed home to raise five kids, and she is my feminist role model." My mother, a fiery feminist and liberal who took ill with breast cancer, also stayed home, by choice, to raise the children. Like Ann Romney, she struggled, but never once sought to portray herself as a martyr.