Follow by Email

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Gail Collins, "My Kingdom for a Corpse": Bored to Tears, Collins Rekindles War of the Reeking Roses with Donald Trump

Based upon the discovery of a skeleton with a deformed spinal column coupled with sophisticated DNA analysis, archaeologists have conclusively determined that they have unearthed the remains of England's King Richard III ("My kingdom for a horse") under a Leicester parking lot.

With nothing better to write about, Gail Collins, in her latest New York Times op-ed entitled "My Kingdom for a Corpse" (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/07/opinion/collins-my-kingdom-for-a-corpse.html?_r=0), has seized upon this memorable occasion to rekindle her war of words with Donald Trump. You will recall that Trump once circled a picture of Collins, wrote "The Face of a Dog!" over it, and sent it over to Gail (see: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/09/donald-trump-gail-collins-new-york-times_n_847015.html).

In her opinion piece of today's date, Collins writes:

"In 2313, maybe the Donald Trump Society will dig up the real estate developer and discover that he had a really terrific head of hair. There’s hope for us all. We may be wrinkling now, but we’ll look great in a few more millennia."

Well, let's fast forward ten more years:

Manhattan, 2323 - Archaeologists, digging under the ruins of the New York Times Building in Manhattan, have discovered the well-preserved bodies of Andrew Rosenthal, Thomas Friedman and Gail Collins, surrounded by a mountain of mildewing bonbons. It is believed that the combined weight of Rosenthal, Friedman and Collins caused the collapse of the skyscraper, owing to its decaying infrastructure.

The discovery of the bodies in the proximity of the bonbons laid to rest speculation, set in motion by Times columnist Nicholas Kristof, that the corpulence of Rosenthal, Friedman and Collins had resulted from lounging on sofas suffused with endocrine-disrupting chemicals.

C'est tout.

1 comment: